Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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