they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
