fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
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He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize