So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Terrible idea I love it
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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