I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
