We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
