Only a mothe r could love this liver
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
