Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Im part way to drunk.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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