At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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