Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
