so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
