Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize