I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
As shirtless as possible
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
