hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
birth control should be required to get into college
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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