well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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