They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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