You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Randomize
