I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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