you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
