that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
