Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you would pick up someone in the library
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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