hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
