How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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