chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
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