idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
