tell your sister to shave her snatch
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
