We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
high people should be assigned attendants
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
