So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
