There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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