In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
