I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
