You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
