Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
