it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
