Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
