And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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