This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
