i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
