Non-Jews are for practice
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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