a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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