Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
