How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
