Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize