why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Sorry about my life...
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
