JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize