i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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