I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She bit a glass in half.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
