My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
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He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
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Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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