I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
