dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
