I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
