She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
