i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
