i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
