if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
