I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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