I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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