OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
