She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
