I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
