Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
