google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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