I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
